Tlaloc Zapote
Your name is TLALOC ZAPOTE, and you are descended from a long line of Troll Aztec kings. Despite your rather LOW BLOOD COLOR, you had the good fortune of hailing from a land with only red-bloods and brown-bloods, Troll Mexico. Thus, you are royalty by default, until you step your bum ass outside the borders. You never step your bum ass outside the borders. You love SPICY FOODS, especially ones made with CHILI PEPPERS. One c ould even call you a CHILI HEAD. You enjoy ASTRONOMY, which your ancient forefathers used to mark time and make calendars. ASTRONOMY is not ASTROLOGY, which is made up pixie bullshit. Horoscopes aren't real, and you get PRETTY MAD when people mix them up. You are also a master at your culture's RITUAL BALL GAMES, and you have to be, because the losers of these games are CULLED as TROLL SACRIFICES to the gods. You don't actually believe in gods, that's as fake as horoscopes. You go along with the sacrifices because they're FUCKING DEATH METAL. You grow many cocao trees near your pyramidal respiteblock, and you copiously enjoy BOTH of of its extracts, both chocolate and COKE. We're not talking about the soda, either. You are an avid player of the TROLL LEGEND OF ZELDA, your only guilty pleasure from the outside world, as outside culture is frowned upon. In particular THE WIND WAKER fascinates and enthralls you, especially because it pays it's dues to your superior culture by stealing it's artstyle from it. Look at dem swirlies! You are exactly 6.92 sweeps old. You know this because you methodically chart the celestial bodies every night, for hours on end, and you use their positions to calculate time perfectly. You're a killer at parties. Your strife specubus is obsidiankind. It's a wooden club with sharp obsidian edges. Your Chumhandle is greatTenochtitlan, and, since you spoke Nahuatl for most of your childhood as your first language, you lixp your S's a litl, xame with your "tle"s Life Before SBurb/SGrubEdit You spent most of your pre-SGrub life drinking hot xocolātl (''chocolate), tripping on cocaine and peyote, playing Zelda (in secret), sacrificing Trolls in gruesome and bloody rituals, charting the night sky, and eating ''tlaxcalli (tortillas) with chili peppers ( chili peppers, duh. Are you fucking stupid or something?) You totally wrecked scrubs whenever you played ritual ball games, and you let Jaguardad eat them after they lost. (You still let him eat them on the rare occasions they won) You and Jaguardad share a special relationship. You let him eat some of your subjects, he basically leaves you alone and roams the jungles around your pyramid. All in all, your childhood was one of gross excess, no hardships, and vapidity. You were living the good life, on your golden throne, with nice looking servant girls feeding you grapes by the vine, and cooling you off with palm leaf fans. You are incredibly un-prepared for any challenges, pain, or work. FriendsEdit You rarely left Troll Mexico, as you got treated as a lesser being whenever you traveled afar. Whether this meant being hated, ignored, or pitied, you hated it. Other than that, your only friends are the stars above. You hate the shit out of Nullar and her spying ways, but she grows some of the plants that you consume in obcene quantities, and besides she's one of the few people below you on the Hemospectrum so you gotta stick together. Lowblood brotherhood, yo. You have to periodically pay tribute to the Troll empire, or the Condencension will completely destroy Troll Mexico. The person you have to conduct these transactions with is none other than Maenam Niadis. You hate her so, so much, and NOT IN THAT WAY. You hate the fact that she's the highest caste, but acts like a HUGE DITZ ( DUH DUH) and the fact that she is SO FUCKING NICE AND OBLIVIOUS to the fact that no one likes her. Your blood pressure spikes to unhealthy levels whenever you talk to her. And, she always makes you stupid ass shirts you wouldn't be caught dead wearing. You wanted to save as many people as possible after you entered, being a lazy asshole and wanting your teammates to do all the work, so you randomly trolled Glissa Nuntak and told her of the game's true power. You think she's pretty cool. You have a thing for rich girls, if they turn out to be hot in person... and they have a thing for you too it seems! You spend every night looking up at the night sky and sighing, waiting for the day that you two can meet in person and go skinny dipping in pools of your own money. OOC Contact InformationEdit *ooc: gamingTriforce *reddit username: MajorasAss